George Guidall’s narration ruined American Gods for me.

The guy has one tone of voice for each character, irrespective of the situation. Often times they were terrible caricatures of foreign accents, and equally as often completely mismatched the character as read from the text. Worse yet, every single female character was precisely the same voice, which sounded something like “this is what an old white guy thinks all women sound like.” 

So imagine having a modern day fantasy read to you while you travel ten hours down the highway: The lead character’s voice is nothing but unchanging, unlovable gravel; the Gods he meets have racist accents or can only express one emotion; and every female is compressed into the same vapid personality. 
Imagine this guy trying to read a sex scene. Go on. It’s awful.
Imagine trying very hard to care about these characters.
Imagine having to hear every wheezing spoken paragraph and then trying to go back in your mind to strip away the sounds in an attempt to reclaim the text in its original context.
Imagine meeting only with disappointment and resentment; we are now on the same page.

I’m going to love American Gods next time I read it. But for fuck’s sake, never again will I suffer through George Guidall crustily uttering the words “goodbye blowjob” while trying impotently to impersonate a twenty-something woman.